When people find out I have twins their immediate response is one of only a few.
- Are they boys or girls? (Apparently, the option of it being boy/girl twins doesn’t occur to anyone)
- Now you can be done! (What? I am no longer allowed to choose if I want more than two children? This also doesn’t take into account that I may have had a child before the twins)
- That is hard. (Oh, have you met my children? You must have more than just the twin fact to make this sort of judgement)
I have loved nearly every moment of being a mom to twins. I have equally loved being a mother to my single birth son. I really just love being a mom. I’d have more children in a heartbeat if I could convince my husband.
The first few weeks were a blur because really all I could think about was them being in the NICU, them eating, and me getting to bring them home. After that, things just fell into the normal rhythm of having new people (baby sized) in my house. I don’t recall anything being ‘more difficult’. Everything just took more time. It took time to get everyone dressed, diapers changed, babies fed, and making sure the four year old was also ready to go. I didn’t think much about going places except I knew I’d have to plan extra time to get ready. I found out a few months after my twins had been going to town on a regular basis that most twin moms don’t like to take their babies out at first because it’s overwhelming. I hate staying home and I guess it didn’t occur to me to be overwhelmed by it. Probably the sleep deprivation I was experiencing…or maybe it was the fact that their big brother LOVED helping with every little thing. He would gather the stuff for the diaper bag, make sure bottles were packed, and entertain/rock the carseats to keep the babies happy so I could get ready to go.
Things are so interesting with boy/girl twins. The point of view is from both genders instead of focused on one. I really feel I get the best of both worlds. I have a girlie girl who loves pink, zebra, sparkles, feathers, tea parties, shopping, and spa days. I have a manly man who loves hunting, fishing, being outside, doesn’t notice the dirt on his face after playing with friends, and generally thinks anything pink is not worth owning. I find it a very cool study on the gender division. I can’t agree with most of what I’ve read on the subject. However, things I have read about twins that I have found to be true (not only with my twins but with my best friend’s twins and a few other sets I know as well):
- There are two people in each set of twins. This means that they are not the same person somehow cloned. They will have different interests, friends, ideas, and basically everything else.
- They don’t like to always be referred to as ‘the twins’. Sometimes it’s fun to be a twin, but sometimes it’s fun to just be yourself.
- It’s usually only important to one of them if the other one is involved. This has to do with different personalities. My daughter worries if her brother is included in things she is doing. She also thinks about him when someone gives her something. It’s not unusual to hear her say “Can I have one for my brothers?” (yes she generally includes her big brother too). I don’t know that I’ve ever heard Trevor say that ever.
- The dominant personality will not necessarily stay with the same child. Some days one will be the in charge one and then maybe a few months later the other one will.
The thing I’ve found the most interesting of all is having twins really is like having two kids. No, seriously. There are days (or moments) they are close. But, there are times when my oldest son is close to them too. There have never been any exclusion issues with them. Maybe because they are boy/girl instead of the same gender. Maybe because I am almost on the crazy side of us doing everything as a family. Who knows why?
My twins turned 10 today. My doubles have turned double digits. It’s unbelievable that I’ve survived this far. I assumed having twins would certainly put me in the ground. But, I’m not only doing it and surviving – I am loving it.