Rogue Dialing

Have you noticed that you seldom get to speak to a real live human when you call businesses?  I realize this is supposed to be a feature that increases the amount of people they can help in a short period of time.  It all sounds great.  Many times I’m happy to just be done and not have to deal with the human conversation.

But, on the other hand…

Sometimes I have questions that are not part of the ‘frequently asked questions’ list.  After I listen to all the question options and realize that none fit my question I hear the recording say “to hear this menu again press #”.  Uh, I don’t want to press # and hear the menu again.  Where is the option for “You have not covered the issue I have so please let me speak to a human”?

Other times I want more details on an answer they have given.  The operator recording will say “To return to the main menu press 0”.  I don’t want to return to the main menu.  There should be a “please go in to more detail about this issue because I have more questions” option.

Above all, there should be a “I’m too frustrated to sit here and pick numbers.  Just give me a real human with a real brain who speaks the same language as me” option.

I admit that if I can’t get a person I often hit 0 just to see if it takes me to the live operator.  Many places still have that in place and I’m a huge fan.  But, the ones that don’t – seriously push me to the edge.  I end up selecting different options to see if I can reach a human.  I start randomly picking ‘yes, I”d like to dispute a charge on my credit card.”  The truth is I don’t really want to dispute a charge, but it seems like something they would want to talk me out of so I try it.  Another option I try is “I’d like to cancel my service.”  I don’t want to cancel my service.  I just want you to answer whatever question I have.

The down side to this is I start feeling bad as soon as the operator answers.  I’ve LIED in my selection.  I don’t want to dispute or cancel anything!  Then, I start worrying if they are annoyed with my call.  Sure, their job is to answer the phone.  But, their job is not to answer the phone for my question obviously or that would have been one of the selections.  Their job is to answer the phone for whatever selection I chose that transfers me to them.   I wonder if they mark my account on some sort of “purposely selects the wrong option list”.  I start imagining my picture on a board of people who don’t follow the rules and who should be watched for their insubordination.

All that could be avoided if they simply had an operator who was hired to answer any question.  I’m happy to select the proper option if it’s offered.  Don’t make me go rogue – with unsupported dialing and such.  It will not be pretty, my friend!

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