The Battlefield of Feelings


My husband and I are very involved with many different groups that involve youth.  We want to be involved in things our children participate in and we want to help.

One of the things I did not anticipate happening is that we have become a second family for multiple kids.  Our kids all have second families too.  It’s so nice to know that there is a whole group of people who love our kids as much as we love their kids.

The only thing hard about the situation is when something comes up that involves discipline or some sort of morality decision.  It turns out that not everyone – no matter how close you may be – have the exact same morals or opinions that we do.  Navigating that situation is always difficult simply because the desire to keep their feelings from being hurt as well as the desire to help the child who needs help are both equally strong.

I don’t think discussing ‘sticky’ subjects will ever become more comfortable.  I just wish there was a way to make it fast, painless and easy.

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One thought on “The Battlefield of Feelings

  1. Oh how I feel your pain. We have always been the “second family” to many of my son’s friends, and through mutual interests and respect have developed a relationship with their parents. It is so difficult when you become aware of a situation that you feel needs to be dealt with. You hate to break the confidence of the kids (for fear they will become sneaky instead of honest) but on the other hand you feel you owe it to the parents to keep them informed. Often you feel like you are walking a tight rope. Not to mention you have no idea how the parents would react to your interference. I always trusted my instincts and the kids with a little dose of “I’m your parent not your friend.”
    No magic answer it is much like pulling off a band aid. Good luck

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